Iruka the Amazing Chuunin
by Hyper Guyver
Summary: The only time Iruka ever stopped at a bar after a stressful day of teaching and inadvertantly finds himself in a bizarre relationship with Konoha's resident snake ninja Anko. IrukaxAnko
1. Why I shouldn't drink

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But man… It would be so BADASS if I did…

Let's face it. We need more stories where Iruka get's a woman. Come people… He deserves it.

Well, many of you have begged me to make this into its own story, so here ya go. Proof that I give into peer pressure too easily. I've made a few changes here and there just so it can stand on it's own as an individual story and cleaned it up a bit too. Hope you guys enjoy and I hope a bunch of new people who have never read this story enjoy.

IRUKA THE AMAZING CHUUNIN!

In one of the many remote districts in the southern section of the grand ninja village of Konoha, in a small sake shop, an exhausted Chuunin sat at the bar.

Now normally, this particular ninja didn't drink quite often. Seeing as how it would be bad to go to class the next day to teach young children while fighting a hang over.

But there was only so much Umino Iruka could take.

Weren't things suppose to get easier now! With Naruto gone, the stresses of teaching should have died down, NOT GOTTEN WORSE!

Konohamaru… Even more Naruto than Naruto himself… Ugh… why God?WHY?

Just today, the brown haired boy had pulled five pranks, set one trash can on fire and turned another teacher's skin purple…

Iruka only hoped he wouldn't develop a drinking problem…

Slowly sipping his sake, the brown haired man was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice two familiar figures enter the small shop and come up right behind him.

That is, until Iruka felt a powerful slap on his back which caused him to begin coughing.

"Iruka, what are you doing here?" Turning to face the speaker, the young Chuunin stared at the scruffy faced Asuma, cigarette puffing away in his mouth and all. To the bearded Jounin's left was the gray haired and masked faced shinobi, Kakashi.

"Ah, Asuma… Kakashi … W-what are you two doing here?" Iruka asked nervously, turning around to face the two. He was always a little nervous around these two. Not only were they high level Jounins, but they were known to use the poor chuunin to their advantage when entertainment seemed to be scarce.

"Just getting a drink." Asuma shrugged. "After putting those kids through their genin test, I could use a drink.

"Ah, so those three passed then?" Iruka asked. It was good to hear his student's were doing well.

"Barely. Those kids have no motivation… Well, except Ino… She seems to keep the other two in line." The bearded shinobi shrugged.

"Heh, that sounds like them." Iruka chuckled. The chuunin then turned his attention to the famous copy nin.

"And I heard Naruto passed as well. I was a bit worried when I heard that you were testing them." Iruka remarked.

"How so?" Kakashi asked lazily. His little orange book suddenly in his hand and his eyes focus on his reading material. An occasional giggle could be heard coming from the man.

"Hee, hee… This is great stuff." Kakashi giggled.

"Well, out of all the groups you tested… None of them have ever passed." Iruka answered lamely, looking distastefully at the orange book. He really hoped Kakashi didn't read that kind of stuff in front of the kids…

"Oh yeah." Kakashi nodded absently. "Good group those three… If they can learn to work together they should be fine."

"I'm glad." Iruka smiled. And he was glad; he truly hoped that Naruto would indeed become a strong ninja and fulfill his dream.

"So what brings a guy like you here?." Kakashi asked, turning his only visible eye on Iruka. Come Come Paradise suddenly gone from his hands now.

"Heh… Uh, well It's been kind of stressful lately." Iruka admitted, scratching the back of his head as he smiled nervously.

"Really now?" Kakashi's one visible eyebrow plucked up in curiosity. "You'd think with Naruto gone, things would be easier now."

"Heh, so did I." Iruka chuckled. "But it looks like Naruto left behind a successor."

"Ah, Konohamaru." Asuma nodded. "I heard that he learned a few tricks from Naruto. It's been giving my uncle quite a headache."

"He's not the only one." Iruka sighed.

"So that's why you're here eh?" Kakashi asked as he pulled up a seat next to the Chuunin, Asuma did like-wise.

"Heh… Yeah, I just hope I don't make this a habit." Iruka chuckled nervously.

At this point, Kakashi was going to let it go and leave Iruka be, when something caught his eye. Looking towards a corner of the shop, a devious idea suddenly came to the gray haired Jounin.

It appeared as though this was one of those nights that the poor chuunin would be a tool for the two Jounin's amusement.

"Say Iruka?" Kakashi began.

"Hm?" Iruka looked over at the one eye ninja as he sipped his drink once again.

"Remember that game of cards we played a while back?"

Thinking for a moment, the young man did indeed recall playing a game of cards with Kakashi… He also recalled it going terribly out of his favor.

VERY out of his favor…

"Oh yes…" Iruka smiled nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "I'm really sorry; I guess I still don't have enough money to pay off the debt I owe…"

"That's okay." Kakashi replied with a smile. Well, what you could tell was a smile from his only visible eye. "I thought of a way for you to pay off your debt without another penny."

"R-really?" Iruka may have had a little bit to drink, but his judgment was far from impaired. The chuunin had a distinct feeling he was about to become a tool for the gray haired Jounin's entertainment... Again.

"Yes!" Kakashi said, smiling even more brightly. "If I do recall… you said, that if you could, you would be happy to pay off your debt in anyway you could."

Unfortunately, Iruka did recall saying such a thing… It was mostly because as a teacher, he only made a certain amount of money… and his debt from that card game EASILY exceeded his ability to pay it off with his meager salary…

He really should have thought more carefully before saying something like that.

"So…" Iruka began, with suddenly dry lips. "What do you want?"

So, Kakashi proceeded to lean in and whisper it into Iruka's ear.

Iruka blanched. He immediately turned his head to look at the corner of the sake shop and then back at the jounin.

"Are you kidding!" Iruka nearly yelled. "I'll be killed!"

"Really?" Kakashi said in disappointment. "How disappointing…"

"Well, I'm sorry. But it's just suicidal." Iruka sighed.

"Yes, well it is a disappointment." Kakashi nodded. "How will I ever tell Naruto that the man he looks up to most could go back on his word so easily?"

Iruka's eyes narrowed. Oh no…

"The kid will be heart broken." Kakashi sighed. "'I will happily pay off my debt anyway that I can.'" The Jounin quoted.

Sigh… I guess that was that then.

"Fine…" Iruka sighed in dejection. "What do I have to do again?"

Moments later, Iruka found himself slowly walking over to the dimly lit corner of the Sake Shop, passing a few customers who were sitting around, enjoying their own beverages.

Looking, back, Iruka saw both Kakashi and Asuma watching him intently. Nope, there was no getting out of this…

And all of this just to prove to Naruto that a ninja keeps his word…

All too quickly, the poor chuunin found himself standing in front of a table situated in the shop's corner.

Reluctantly, Iruka cleared his throat.

Blinking, a young woman, with black hair, who had been minding her own drink, turned her head up to look at him. Almond shaped eyes blinking at him.

"Hey, you're… Iruka, right?" The woman asked. "Head teacher of the academy right?"

"Uh…. Y-yeah." He answered nervously.

"…"

"…"

"Is there something that you wanted?" the woman smirked, one eyebrow craned upward. "Or are you going to stand there like a lamp post?"

"Y-yes." Iruka replied, turning his head back again to see the two jounins still watching him. They would know if he didn't do it. 'Well, now or never.'

"Ahem…" Turning back to the black haired woman, Iruka took one last gulp before speaking.

"I-if your right leg was c-Christmas, and your left l-leg was Easter… I, uh, I would like to visit between holidays." THERE! He said it! Placing his hands over his face in humiliation, the poor chuunin groaned in misery.

When he removed his hand to look at the woman, to his horror, he found her looking at him with a look of total shock.

"…"

"…"

The awkward moment of silence was finally broken when the woman stood up from her table rather abruptly and grabbed Iruka roughly by his flack jacket.

For his part, Iruka was too paralyzed with fear to move. Faintly, he thought he heard the sounds of two Jounins laughing.

Bringing herself to eye level with Iruka, Mitarashi Anko looked at the Chuunin with nothing less than murder in her eyes.

"Did you just say what I think you just said?" She growled out.

Iruka could do nothing more than nod his head dumbly.

"Behind the Sake Shop in one minute. You'd BETTER be there." Anko growled out, her teeth gritting together. It appeared that the woman had enough curtsey to spill his blood outside the shop than on its polished wooden floors.

When she let him go, the black haired woman quickly stomped out of the shop, leaving the now pale white chuunin standing there, immobile.

"You know…" Kakashi voice floated over to Iruka's ear after a moment. "If you don't hurry, your one minute is going to be up."

Without a word, the brown haired young man, much like a robot on autopilot, slowly made his way out of the shop.

Gulping nervously, Iruka looked around the back alley of the sake shop. Anko was nowhere to be found, which to Iruka could be seen as either a good thing or a bad.

Thinking this to be his last moments alive, Umino Iruka suddenly wished he'd done more with his life. Tried for Jounin, learned to play the guitar, gotten that pet gold fish he always wanted, maybe find a nice girl to go out with and settle down and have a family with…

And now all he had to show for his time on this world was Naruto's current state of education…

…OH GOD! THAT'S ALL HE HAD TO SHOW FOR HIS LIFE?

"Well, I must say, you really do have a pair for showing up." Eyes wide, Iruka turned around to see Anko standing in the middle of the alley.

"L-look, Uh, Anko, about what I said…" Iruka began, slowly inching away from the woman.

"Yes, about that." Suddenly Anko was right in front of him, holding onto his jacket once again. Her death glare boring into him once more.

"In all my time, I never would have imagined YOU even daring to say something like that to me." Anko whispered harshly into his ear.

"I- uh." If Iruka even had had something to say, he wouldn't have been able to say it. For he was immediately cut off as Anko's lips suddenly crashed into his. The poor man's eyes nearly bugged out when she proceeded to wrap her arms around his neck as well.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity in Iruka's opinion.

Finally, she pulled away.

"Who knew you could be so forward Iruka-kun?" Anko said sweetly, her arms still circled around his neck. Her head cocked to the side playfully.

"Huh?" Was all Iruka could say in his current state of shock. He… He was still alive?

Wait… hadn't she wanted to kill him! What was going on?

"W-wait…" Iruka mumbled. "You're not angry?"

"Well, I must say, I was quite surprised." Anko replied, her current demeanor now a near opposite of her previously enraged one. She looked almost… Bashful! "I guess you're more of a man than I thought. I would have sworn you'd have gone running like a chicken the second I left. I guess you're just a far braver man than I first thought."

"Uh, well… I just…" What could he say? That he'd been too terrified to actually think of running away?

"Come on Iruka-kun, let's go!" Anko smiled as she began to drag the young chuunin behind her.

"Huh? Where are we going?" He asked in confusion.

"Back to my place silly!" Anko giggled…. Seriously, what just happened to the angry murderess from earlier?

"W-why?" Iruka was still too shocked to think. If he had, he would have easily figured it out himself.

"Silly!" Anko winked. Her smiled suddenly turned from sweet to seductively devious. "I'm going to show you how far Christmas and Easter can be spread apart."

So, the black haired woman quickly dragged the surprised chuunin(who was suddenly dealing with a severe nose bleed) out of sight of the small sake shop.

On top of the sake shop, two jounins, who had earlier been hiding up there while snickering to themselves, were now dead silent.

Kakashi's one visible eye was staring blankly at the spot where Iruka and Anko had been standing earlier. Asuma's mouth was hanging so far open that his cigarette had fallen out.

"No… Way…" Asuma finally muttered, after regaining some control of his thoughts.

"Huh… What do you..." Kakashi stated lamely before pulling out his Come Come Paradise book and refocusing his attention on the important things in life.

"Hee, hee, hee…" The Jounin giggled.


	2. But Why him?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But man… It would be so BADASS if I did…

Let's face it. We need more stories where Iruka get's a woman. Come people… He deserves it.

Well, many of you have begged me to make this into its own story, so here ya go. Proof that I give into peer pressure too easily. I've made a few changes here and there just so it can stand on it's own as an individual story and cleaned it up a bit too. Hope you guys enjoy and I hope a bunch of new people who have never read this story enjoy.

IRUKA THE AMAZING CHUUNIN!

It was mid afternoon in the village of Konoha. The sun was shining, birds were chirping and this spectacular view was being enjoyed by certain black haired ninja from the Jounin's lounge. Said, ninja was a beautiful young woman who was enjoying the view while popping dongos into her mouth.

The lounge was empty for the most part. The only other occupant had been a middle aged ninja would had left almost ten minutes ago, leaving Mitarashi Anko to enjoy her break in relative silence.

But that didn't last too long as the lounge door opened as several kuniochis stepped in, all whom were chatting to themselves happily. When the noticed Anko sitting near the window, they paused for a moment before coming to take seats around her.

"Anko, how are you?" Smiled Kurenia as she sat next to Anko.

"Oh hey, Kerunia, I'm fine. How's it going?" Anko gave a short wave as she took her eyes from the window to look at the group of women situated around her.

"Fine, fine. Doing mostly Jounin instructor work now." Kurenia explained.

"Yeah, heard you got stuck with a teaching job now." Anko nodded, there was no way in hell they were ever going to stick HER with a teaching job. She'd probably end up turning whatever group of genin she got into a team of sadistic psychos.

"Speaking of teaching…" One of the other Kuniochi's, Suzume stepped in. "I heard a rumor that you're dating Umino Iruka? Is that really true?"

Anko, smirked at Suzume, who pushed her glasses back on her face.

"What if I am?"

The women looked at each other in surprise before turning back to Anko.

"Well… Why him? There must be much more… Interesting guys, right?" Kurenia asked, recalling her on knowledge of the mild mannered chuunin.

"Well, sure maybe. But let me ask you a question, what are the options on good single guys?" Anko asked them with a knowing smirk. Question her choice in men will they? She'd prove to them just how good her tastes were.

"Well… What about Kakashi? I heard he's really cute under that mask. And he must really interesting!" A blonde Kuniochi offered.

"Doesn't he constantly read porn? In public?" One of the other girls stated, cringing at the thought of the gray haired man walking down the street with his little orange book.

"Yeah! And he's chronically late! I've never seen the man show up on time for anything in my life!" Another commented.

"What about… Asuma? He seems like a really nice guy." This time it was a brunette to Anko's left.

"Ew! He smells like an ash tray!" The blonde cringed.

"And besides that…(ahem) He's not available." Kurenia stated, frowning.

"How would you know?" The brunette asked.

"I just do!" Kurenia shot back, crossing her arms over her chest and looking away in embarrassment.

"Um… Anyways… How about… Hayate?" This time it was Suzume.

"Heh, if Yuugao heard you even suggest that she'd cut you two." Anko laughed, thinking about the purpled haired Anbu and her devotion to the sickly jounin swordsman.

"Oh yeah…" Suzume paled.

"Genma?" Anther girl offered.

"Er… tried that." Anko cringed as she recalled an unfortunate make out session in which her date had forgotten to remove the senbon from his mouth.

"Well, what about-"

"Enough!" Anko shouted. "Look, I like Iruka-kun! Get over it!"

There was a brief pause of silence as the kuniouchis looked at each other in confusion before one of them finally spoke up.

"But… why?"

Anko blinked and then looked at them. Sighing, Anko set herself up to explain.

"Look, if you think about all the guys in this village, who would YOU consider to be the nicest?" Anko asked.

"Um… Iruka?" One of the girls said hesitantly after a moment of thought.

"And who would you think would treat a woman with the PROPER respect she deserves?"

"Well, definitely Iruka." Suzume nodded. "He's always a gentleman to a lady, weather she's nine years old or ninety. Anko smirked, thinking back to the sake shop incident, he hadn't been very gentlemanly that night, much to Anko's pleasure.

"And he's very good with children!" Another piped in. "He'd make a wonderful father."

"Best of all" The Brunette said. "I heard he can cook!"

"But would he be any good in the bedroom?" The blonde added touching her index finger to her lip in thought. "He seems like he'd be clumsy in that department."

"Oh he was." Anko nodded, closing her eyes and putting her hands behind head as a very proud grin spread across her face. "But after a week with me, I definitely fixed that!"

Many of the kunoichi looked at her in red faced surprise. While others like Kurenia and Suzume who knew her better simply shook their heads in embarrassment.

"So… In all accounts…" The Brunette began after a short pause to consider everything that had been discussed. "Iruka is… the most eligible bachelor in Konoha?"

All the women, excluding Anko, blinked in surprised upon that sudden revelation. For a brief instance, the room was in complete silence and as they realized what a good prospect for a husband Iruka was… and much to their great disappointment, that he was-

"- All mine! Hahahahaha!" Anko laughed evilly, surprising everyone in the room as she stood up on her seat in a triumphant pose.

"Hee, hee! I can just see it now!" Anko squealed in delight. "Mr. and Mrs. Anko Mitarashi!"

As if on cue, a thought bubble seemed to appear over Anko's head as she imagined her future life.

_"Honey! I'm hoooome!" Anko called out as she walked through a door into her home. She was wearing what looked like a female business suite complete with a brief case._

_"Oh! Hi honey! How was your day?" A smiling Iruka asked as he came into the room, an apron adorned over his normal ninja wear. Oven mitts on his hands as he carried in a pot roast to the table._

_"Oh it was good, just a run of the mill assassination." Anko smiled as she set down her brief case._

_"Well you're just in time for dinner! Would you like to call the kids to the table?" Iruka smiled._

_"Oh kiiiids!" Anko called out._

_From out of another room, two little children, one looking like a five year old version of Anko and the other a five year old version of Iruka ran into the room happily._

_"Yay! Mommy's home!" They squealed._

_"What a wonderful family." Anko sighed happily. The whole family grouped together smiling. Standing next to each other like they were about to take some kind of hallmark moment photo._

Back in reality, all the Kuniochi's stared at the day dreaming Anko with sweat drops.

"Just who's wearing the pants in that relationship?" Suzume asked.

"Well, I'd watch myself if I were you Anko." Kurenia whispered into the snake girl's ear, pulling Anko out of her bizarre fantasy.

"Oh yeah? Why should I?"

"Because, while he may be the most eligible bachelor, you're not quite what I'd call the most eligible bachelorette." Kurenia warned.

"Ha! And how could he turn down something like this?" Anko huffed as she pointed at herself (more accurately at her chest).

"Because of your personality." Suzume piped in, whispering into Anko's other ear. "You don't have anything the rest of us don't already have. And now that THEY know just what a great guy he is. They'll all be on the prowl."

Looking at her two friends in confusion, Anko glanced at the other kuniochis in the room surrounding her. All of them off in their own little worlds now, plans forming in their heads on how to seduce the young chuunin from their discussion.

"Uh oh…" Anko mumbled, as she saw some of the hungry looks in her fellow kuniouchi's eyes.

Both Suzme and Kurenia nodded in agreement with Anko realization.

"Y-yeah, well fat chance! Why just today, I sent a whole bunch of flowers to his classroom, just so he'd know how much I care!"

"You did?" The Suzume asked in surprised. That didn't seem very Anko-Like.

"Yep! I even went out and picked them all myself! Just try and beat that!" Anko laughed triumphantly. That's right, she was one step a head of the game now.

On the other side of Konoha, in the ninja academy, Iruka's class looked on in fascination at the variety of exotic looking flowers situated in a vase on the center of Iruka's desk. With a note attached saying: From Anko.

"Wow Sensei! Looks like you've got yourself an admirer!" Konohamaru laughed.

"Er yeah…" Iruka said as he eyes the flowers nervously.

"Um Sensei?" Another student, Moegi, raised her hand. "Are you aware that all those flowers are poisonous?"

"Uh, Actually, yes I am aware of that…" Iruka sweat dropped.

"Wow, somebody must really hate sensei…" One of Iruka student's whispered to another.

"Yeah, if I was him, I'd stay the heck away from whatever girl sent those!" The other whispered back.

'Man…' Iruka thought, as he scratched his head nervously. 'Does Anko like me or hate me? This is getting really confusing….'


End file.
